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About Digital Art / Hobbyist Member A.s.s DemonUnknown Groups :iconsonic-the-abyss: Sonic-The-Abyss
Come, Explore the darkness~
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You know you lost all innocence when happy news instead of making you happy give you a weird uneasiness that keeps telling you to get ready for the worse, and when you find yourself doubting all the people that surrounds you and you do not allow yourself to think that they could possibly mean no harm. 

To feel scared when everything seems to go fine because somehow you just feel it's fishy that things go your way...

Whenever you speak to a person, like a school partner, someone you know superficially but still know enough.... to feel as if they'd never think twice about harming you, to feel like you could just get away from their lives and that it would make nothing different for them... To see them smiling and having yourself smile back but always having the thought that everything is passenger, even such relationship and that by any means none of you would ever stand for the other.

To be told something nice and doubt they mean it, to hear something great and doubt it'll happen, to be given something and wonder what they're really trying to do, to receive something and immediately know that you'll be spared from it.

To be told that people doesn't bite and smile to yourself because you're able to tell they bite, they rip you off with their teeth and they enjoy it. To just look at them in the eye and let out a half-assed sarcastic giggle and reply "Some do" while deep into your throat there's just a nasty bitter taste, product from your own soul that is stuck into a mix of feelings between not wanting to believe people can be that mean, to want to forgive them... and then recognizing that they are like that, and they deserve way worse.

It's difficult to explain how something that should make you very happy only leaves a slight uncomfortable feeling, a wandering question in your mind that keeps going "So if I'm given this, what is that I appreciate a lot that I'd be spared from?". To see beloved ones happy and only think that seeing them happy is a bit hurtful because you're sure that it won't last, that they won't be happy in the end. To feel like you need to escape but just dropping and curling up and accepting every hit because you're sure they'll get to you and you can't do anything about it.

When you are able to see an enemy into everyone, the most innocent beings, all of them. You just know that they're able to hurt you deeply, that they would not touch their heart or show any mercy. That they'd do it with their bare hands and find it funny, and you get these mixed feelings where you don't know what to believe. When you notice that forgiving is idiotic, why do you need to touch your heart and have mercy for them even knowing they'd step over you if they need to? and that they wouldn't have any second thoughts.

To feel like you're forced to stand and battle them as heartlessly as they would battle you... Because you feel that if you don't do that, they'll do it first. To feel like one of us will fall and to know that the only way to avoid your own demise is by letting others down. 

Am I the only one who feels like this?
  • Mood: Disbelief
  • Listening to: ~Russian Lullaby~
  • Playing: The game of life
  • Drinking: ~Vodka~

Journal History


SapphireSpirit's Profile Picture
A.s.s Demon
Artist | Hobbyist | Digital Art
-----------------------------------Get them all by SapphireSpirit--------------------------------------

True courage lies in the fact that you were moving your broken wings. <3

Minna-san!!! Hello! My name is SapphireSpirit and you may fucking refer to me in that way!!! :stare: ---shot--

Now time for a special offer!!....

Get your own demon delivered at home!! YES... YOU HEARD RIGHT! AT HOME!!!

: D

The only thing you have to do is insert your soul here --->> :iconorangeboxplz:

And we'll send you a demon! YES, a demon!!! To your own home in a matter of 3 days, all you have to do is paint a summoning circle on a clear area on the room you want him to appear and KA-DA-BRA!! Your own demon!!

The quality of the product will depend on the soul given and the owner's cat appreciation

In case you can not make a summoning circle to get your demon instantly, we will ship him to you personally and he will arrive in a matter of 3 days. The delivery service is completely done for FREE! and you will receive your demon into a box just like this one:


So.... WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?... Get your own Demon NOW!!!!

If it bites, curses or possesses you.... First blame your hate for cats and the terrible taste of your soul..... then you can blame us

All rights reserved!

My Family!

:iconkikaethecheetah: -> My Big sestra óuò Da? Sometimes I'm her mother Russia and she's my cute Italian England too

:iconsteam-punkvixen: -> Another Sestra, I'm her noisy soviet cricket ^u^. She's my admirable Soviet America!

:iconphazonsource26: -> The Uncle Phazz!!! X3 Love you Uncle Phaz! you're soo wise OuO

:iconorrinfox: -> He's a great man with a superhero cape! ;D hahahaha

:iconashhallow: -> My Twin Femrus Emily Anya >W<~~ Ya lebvyu tebya Nyah~

:iconsoulsavage-sketch: -> We're the Crazy pair of pervy Echidnas >XD

:iconclaw-the-wolf: -> My somewhat pervert Brother OuO Hola ke ase?

:iconshocky-shiver: -> She's my sister, I'm her unwhished brother XD

:iconkawaii-neko16: -> My sexy Sister ;D!!!~

:iconkibbitzer: -> Another Big brother ;W; Your words saved me that day Kibbi

:iconshivilemerald: -> She's a troll ¬w¬ Buckets... LOL OvO

:iconroxasfan200: -> She holds a special part of my heart for herself ^^

:icondemidevilas: -> The Gay Prince ;D

:iconwhacked-muffin: -> Our Whacked Muffin, because Whacked tastes best! ;D

:iconruyeka-san: -> My little sister Onee-nee chan n _ n..... <3

Not all of them belong to the same family, but they're all part of My family... Beside some of them also relate with eachother like ~La Famille~

Into La Famille there's the awesomes Kikae, Lesley, Shade, Wind, Phaz, Fox, Kay, Demi and Muffin with me, all from the same blood ;D

And Also Us Beloved Legionnairs XD

:iconknuxtiger4: -> My Father
:iconmichiwrap: -> My Mother
:iconbawls34: -> The Crazy Uncle
:iconlizardman22: -> Our Pet
:iconlady-tragedy: -> One of the Twin sisters
:iconuncanny-illustrator: -> The other Twin Sister
:iconwebdisaster01: -> My Brother
:icon0-midnightbioshock-0: -> The distant cousin

And I am the Son ;D

:iconsteam-punkvixen: -> America my Husband :iconrusamehugplz: Ya lebvyu Tebvya, da?

:iconkikaethecheetah: -> Our Son England :iconsnugplz: Nobody touch!

:iconwindclimber-9: -> Our baby Canada :iconslowhugplz: our sweet-heart <3

:iconuniversual-light001: -> Our adopted Son :iconyuihugplz: welcome to the family!

:iconclaw-the-wolf: -> The furniture :iconbeatoplz:

:iconsnowdrop246: -> Our recently new acquisition, the new baby :iconslowhugplz: da~

Well Nobody can touch any member of my family anyway, da? :iconscaryrussiaplz: Don't do it

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lizardman22 Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hi saph, how are you going?
How's the hotel stay?
SapphireSpirit Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It's great Lizard hahaha <xD sadly we're going back tomorrow, the vacation is over xD...... back to the moving u . u;
lizardman22 Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
good to hear you're well.
awe. At least you had fun though :)
SapphireSpirit Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
of course : D 
(1 Reply)
Whacked-Muffin Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Long time no talk ; w;
lizardman22 Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
ThePenVsTheSword Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2014  Student Writer
Thanks for faving the journal!
lizardman22 Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the faves, saph :hug:
ncond3 Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2014  Hobbyist

I don't know the characters well. so I hope they are like this.. I was going to make Arthur blush. but I forgot too.. do you want the blush on him? or is that not his character to blush?
SapphireSpirit Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I adore it as it is thank you > 7 < .... Beside! Could you please Credit my friend Kikaethecheetah please? Arthur belongs to her <xD .. But I love it! Thank you very much ; v ; <3
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